Ultimate Fantastic Four

Ultimate Fantastic Four 33-38

I can’t remember the last time I felt this way: This arc by Mike Carey and Pasqual Ferry (something about aliens and fighting) starts off mind-numbingly boring, then maintains that torpor for so long (an interminable six issues) that it induces white-hot hatred.  I’ve never wanted to burn a book so much as I have these comics.  (To be clear, I’ve never wanted to burn any book before.)  But for the last four issues or so, I seriously contemplated setting them ablaze.  This offends me with how boring, nonsensical, and aimless it is.  Seriously, why in the world did I keep buying this back then?  I hate past me for this.  I’m resisting the urge to rip them apart as I type this.  

Regret buying: Yes

Would buy again: No

Would read again: No

Rating: Hated  (Cutting.  SO close to doing it literally.)

Ultimate Fantastic Four 39-41

Whatever Carey wrote after the God War arc wasn’t going to get a fair shake, let’s be honest.  This three-part Ultimate Diablo story is completely forgettable, with disappointing art from Mark Brooks.  A quick cut, excising the tail end of Carey’s FF run from my collection.

Regret buying: Yes

Would buy again: No

Would read again: No

Rating: Didn’t cut

Ultimate Fantastic Four

Ultimate Fantastic Four 24-32

A thoroughly average run by Mark Millar, nowhere close to his best work.  The three-issue arcs cover Ultimate Namor (He turns out to be a bad guy), an alternate reality where the FF prevent their origin accident (the Skrulls ruin that world), and the return of the FF Zombies (shenanigans with Doom save the day).  It’s perfectly acceptable, with Greg Land’s art providing some moments of unintentional humor.

That's pre-accident Doom.  Seriously.  I can't even.

This isn't Land, it's Mitch Breitsweiser.  (Never heard of him.)  Those proportions are Portacio-esque.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: No

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Nice

Ultimate Fantastic Four Annual 1

Mole Man’s origin.  It’s meh.  Stuart Immonen’s art is good as usual, but Mike Carey’s script does not make me feel good about his upcoming run.   (I quit buying partway through the first time around.)

Heh.  Yes, it could have.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: No

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Fine

Ultimate Fantastic Four

Ultimate Fantastic Four 19-20

Mike Carey shows up for a trial run, and Jae Lee joins him.  A few good moments storywise, but Lee is the clear draw here.  I don’t know if he uses tons of silhouettes because he’s lazy or what, but when it looks this awesome, I don’t care:  

Legit creepy.

More silhouettes.  And brain envy.  Heh.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: No

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Nice

Ultimate Fantastic Four 21-23

Mark Millar and Greg Land start their run with the introduction of Marvel Zombies, spawning a whole franchise.  It’s not bad, but Land’s art is a complete distraction with its slavish model reference, inconsistent faces/hair, and ridiculous facial expressions.  It’s a frankly a parody of comic book art.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: No

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Nice

Ultimate Fantastic Four Annual 1

Jae Lee returns to draw the Inhumans seven years after his classic run.

Clear self-homage.

Love the kung fu master redesign on Karnak.

Other than that, Millar doesn’t bring anything new to the Ultimate Inhumans; They’re still xenophobes looking to isolate themselves from the rest of the world.  

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: No

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Fine

Ultimate X-Men/Fantastic Four 1-2

Mike Carey returns with the Mad Thinker he introduced in issue 19.  She’s way less interesting when drawn by Pasqual Ferry, who has some truly unfortunate panels here.  Maybe I’d keep this if it were part of the main run, but it’s an easy cut here.

Unattractive on so many levels.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: No

Would read again: No

Rating: Boring (Cutting)

Ultimate Fantastic Four

Ultimate Fantastic Four 1-6

I completely forgot that Brian Michael Bendis and Mark Millar wrote this first arc.  I’d remembered it as Warren Ellis, up until the letter column in issue six said that the writers were leaving.  I’m going to go to the pictures.

There’s such a feeling of satisfaction on the last page of the first issue.  All of Reed’s hard work and perseverance through a difficult childhood is validated by the appearance of a few toys.  Love it.

Some cute flirting between Reed and Sue and a life changing first kiss before an even more impactful life changing accident.  

This is when I remembered that Reed eventually ends up as the Ultimate Universe’s archenemy, and it makes me sad to know where this hopeful, brilliant kid ends up.  He even later calls out how he hates that everyone he meets ends up being a villain.

If he only knew...

The aftermath of the accident is when I thought about how much better this origin is than the Heroes Reborn version.  (Which I haven’t reviewed yet.)  Decompression for the win!

Heh.  A reasonable concern.

Adam Kubert draws one of my favorite Things.

The fight at the end of the first arc isn’t that interesting, but Bendis, Millar, and Adam Kubert do a great job of giving us a modern spin on a classic team.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: Yes

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Good

Ultimate Fantastic Four 7-12

Warren Ellis, Stuart Immonen, and Doctor Doom all make their first appearances on the title.  Some of the humor is Bendis-quality, not something I expect to see from the wry, cynical Ellis.  It warms my heart.  Though on second thought, it’s all insults, so maybe it’s not that far off from his comfort zone…

I love these fantasti-jabs.

I'm sure it's the subject of many fanfics.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: Yes

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Good

Ultimate Fantastic Four 13-18

Annihilus shows up in the team’s initial exploration of the N-Zone.  It’s not quite as fun as the previous arc, with more fighting and less character interaction, which is what’s always made this team really fun to read.  Still, it’s got some more LOL humor.

So perfect.

Why is it a complete ripoff of a Star Wars gaffi stick?

I mean, exact.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: Yes

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Pretty good

Ultimate X-Men

Ultimate X-Men 61-65

Brian K Vaughan and Stuart Immonen’s last arc on the title.  Lorna Dane’s imprisoned with Magneto in the Triskelion.  The X-Men, Brotherhood of Mutants, Ultimates, and Emma Frost’s students all collide together as various rescue plans intersect.  It’s a delightful clusterfuck with great action.  

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: Yes

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Pretty good

Ultimate X-Men 66-82

Ultimate X-Men Annual 2

Robert Kirkman takes over for an extended run.  This is where I originally stopped buying the title, and now I remember why: It’s not fun.  At all.  Almost all of Kirkman’s ideas induce anger and frustration instead of joy and entertainment: Magician is the epitome of white entitlement whose power is literally wish fulfillment; Kurt’s become a homophobic, manipulative liar who kidnaps Dazzler because he knows she’ll love him if she’ll only get to know him; Professor X confesses that he’s in love with Jean Grey (the latest in a long line of students that he’s entertained romantic feelings for).  

Perhaps all of these storylines would work with more successful execution, and it’s not like Kirkman doesn’t have the chops; He’d already started writing both Walking Dead and Invincible by this point.  But this entire run is full of losses; the X-Men don’t really get a single win, and that gets really old after a while.  

Cutting all of these issues, as well as Annual 1 retroactively.  

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: No

Would read again: No

Rating: Nice to Didn’t suck

Ultimate X-Men

Ultimate X-Men 34-39

Brian Michael Bendis comes on to write two arcs, this one with David Finch on art.  People from Wolverine’s past return to kill him, again.  And Wolverine decides to run away from the school.  Again.  Bendis keeps it fun, especially during the issues where his Ultimate Spider-Man shows up for a quick crossover.

Peter Parker makes a good point.

I love a beautifully colored Phoenix effect.  (Dave Stewart)

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: Yes

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Pretty good

Ultimate X-Men 40-45

Bendis’ writing just sings.  It’s such a joy to read.  Even long, uninterrupted pages of dialogue, I can read for days if he’s the author.

Storm looks good in any costume.

Here, Angel joins the team, the President of the United States tries to start his own team of mutants, things go horribly awry, and Beast dies in the fight.

Storm is understandably upset.

And holy crap, issue 41.  Wolverine flat out kills a mutant kid who develops a death field as his power.  It took two minutes for me to read it, but the emotional impact lasted a lot longer.

So tragic.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: Yes

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Good (Really good for 41.)

Ultimate X-Men 46-49

Brian K Vaughan takes over as regular writer.  Brandon Peterson draws the story.  He starts slowly with his take on Mr Sinister, a stuttering, serial killing maniac with mental health issues.  It’s nothing special.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: No

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Nice

Ultimate X-Men 50-53

Andy Kubert jumps into the artist seat.  Gambit shows up again after his wretched introduction back in issue 13.  This time, he’s working for Fenris, kidnaps Rogue, gets a change of heart, and convinces her to run away with him.  The main story’s forgettable aside from that ending, but Vaughan and Kubert work combine to give us some really nice moments.

Lovely.  Justin Posnor colors.

EXCELLENT fight scene.  Hate Gambit's hair, though.

I'm all on board with a Wolvie/Storm romance.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: No

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Nice

Ultimate X-Men 54-57

Stuart Immonen’s the penciller!  I do love his work.  This arc introduces us to Ultimate Mojo, Arcade, Spiral, and Longshot, in a Murderworld/Running Man scenario.  In a surprise twist, Longshot turns out to be a murdering mutant supremacist.  

Heh, "merits to decompression."  A wink to Bendis?

Boo, Blink is dead in this world.

Great pose.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: Yes

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Pretty good

Ultimate X-Men 58

Steve Dillon (RIP) draws this one-shot where Professor X thwarts a bank robbery from the inside.  Some creative uses of telepathy, I really enjoyed this one.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: Yes

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Good

Ultimate X-Men 59-60

Wolverine and Storm fight Lady Deathstrike, who’s conflated w/ Yukio in this world.  Fun action.

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: Yes

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Pretty good

Ultimate X-Men Annual 1

And just like that, Gambit’s gone.  This is the second X-Man to die by falling building (after Beast).  I wonder why that’s the preferred method of death for the writers.  What a waste of an awesome 616 character.  

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: No

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Fine