MCU Good Parts

New project!  How’d it come about?

So I was revisiting my MCU rankings, and to have something running on the side while I worked, I decided to put them on in reverse order, to see if the worst ones were as bad as I remembered.  That led me to wonder how short these movies would be if I made a Good Parts version of them.

(Back when I was at EA, I would host “Good Parts” versions of action movies that I liked, skipping to the best fight scenes and eschewing the boring plot bits.  This worked especially well for movies like Fist of Legend.)

My idea is to edit the MCU movies by cutting out all the bits that I always skip whenever I rewatch them.  The stat geek in me will keep track of the scenes to see if there are any patterns in what I like and don’t like.  Given my general disdain for MCU villains and CGI-heavy third acts, I’m expecting to cut a lot of those.

The scene classifications I’ll be using:

• Hero: The protagonist is in the scene

• Villain: The villain is in the scene

• Secondary: Secondary characters of note are in the scene

• Character Building: It reveals something of the characters in the scene

• Action: It’s an action scene

• Filler: I don’t feel like it serves any direct purpose in the film.  (Not necessarily a bad thing.)

I’m not being a stickler with any of these tags, so there’s plenty of margin for error.

I’ll also use the opportunity to rank the movies from scratch, and see how it matches up with my current rankings.

So here we go.  I’m five movies in, and I’m having a blast.  I’m do%ing all the documentation, haven’t done any actual film cutting.  (I’m wondering if I ever will, it may end up being totally unnecessary.)  What have I found out so far?  

Iron Man 

Current rank: 16 of 33

I’m going in chronological release order.  Might as well.  

Before rewatch:

• Scenes I love: Tony in the lab designing the armor is by far the best part of this film, and really the only thing that I actively rewatch.  

• Expectations: I’ll pretty much keep any scene where Robert Downey Jr works his magic.  Pepper Potts will probably be an auto-include.  Jeff Bridges as Obadiah Stane will probably be a 50/50 proposition.  Not expecting to keep the final fight.

Rewatch stats:

• Time to process: 55 minutes

• Length of cut scenes: 23:36

• Length of iffy scenes (Scenes that I’m undecided on, but keeping for now): 23:18

• Length of total movie: 2:05:45

• % with cut scenes (Percentage of original movie remaining after removing cut scenes): 81%

• % with iffy scenes (Percentage after removing cut and iffy scenes): 63%

• Hero scenes kept: 81%

• Villain scenes kept: 25%

• Action scenes kept: 83%

• Time of scenes I love: 10:33

After rewatch: I cut a lot of the cave captivity stuff, not surprising.  Kept a lot more of the action scenes than I thought I would, and even the final fight was an iffy, not a full cut.

Incredible Hulk

Current rank: 32 of 33

Before rewatch: 

• Scenes I love: Can’t think of one.

• Expectations: I really don’t know what I’ll be keeping from this.  I don’t have a single fond memory of this.

Rewatch stats:

• Time to process: 1:19

• Length of cut scenes: 1:14:47

• Length of iffy scenes: 8:20

• Length of total movie: 1:52:12

• % with cut scenes: 33%

• % with iffy scenes 26%

• Hero scenes kept: 20%

• Villain scenes kept: 29%

• Action scenes kept: 40%

• Time of scenes I love: 0.  There was nothing.

After rewatch: 

• Yeah, not much made it through, barely over a quarter.  

• I kept a good number of the Emil Blonsky scenes; Tim Roth is actually really good in this; I always enjoyed watching him.  (At least until he becomes the Abomination.)  

• The early action scenes are relatively better than the final one.  

• Unlike most MCU movies, I didn’t care for the protagonist at all.  Offscreen issues aside, Kevin Feige made the right choice in ditching Edward Norton Jr.  

Iron Man 2

Current rank: 15 of 33

Before rewatch:

• Scenes I love: Again, Tony in the lab, this time discovering the new element, is my favorite part.  I like the Monaco fight and all of Scarlett as Black Widow.  Pepper always rocks.

• Expectations: I’ll cut most of the stuff w/ Justin Hammer and Whiplash.  Hammer is smarmy in a “don’t like to watch” kind of way.  Whiplash is just plain boring. 

Rewatch stats:

• Time to process: 0:34

• Length of cut scenes: 35:00

• Length of iffy scenes: 5:31

• Length of total movie: 2:04:26

• % with cut scenes: 72%

• % with iffy scenes: 67%

• Hero scenes kept: 76%

• Villain scenes kept: 44%

• Action scenes kept: 50%

• Time of scenes I love: 29:43

After rewatch: 

• Everything went as expected.  For a movie squarely in the middle tier, I’ve seen it an awful lot of times.  It’s a fun film, and although they’re right next to each other in the rankings, it’s just a smidge higher than IM1.  RDJ is really in his element here, and is more fun to watch than in the original movie, even with the unfortunately drunken party scene, which definitely doesn’t make the cut.

• I forgot to mention the congressional hearing, which is a favorite of mine from this film.

Thor

Current rank: 29 of 33

Before rewatch:

• Scenes I love: Thor shattering the mug in the diner.  Natalie Portman looking cute in a few scenes.  

• Expectations: Very low.  I haven’t seen this movie more than two or three times, I think.  

Rewatch stats:

• Time to process: 1:25

• Length of cut scenes: 44:21

• Length of iffy scenes: 20:22

• Length of total movie: 1:54:39

• % with cut scenes: 61%

• % with iffy scenes: 44%

• Hero scenes kept: 56%

• Villain scenes kept: 47%

• Action scenes kept: 50%

• Time of scenes I love: 3:20 

After rewatch: Not as bad as I remember; Tom Hiddleston really was an inspired choice for Loki, I’m so happy Marvel cast him.  And it’s really fun to see him here at the beginning of it all, knowing the growth he goes through.  

I’ve noticed that the movies I know really well take way less time to catalog.  A lot less need to watch the scenes over again.

Captain America

Current rank: 12 of 33

Before rewatch:

• Scenes I love: Watching Steve up through his transformation.  Anything with Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter.

• Expectations: The first half is way better than the second.  I’ll be keeping very little of the Red Skull; A one-note villain, through no fault of Hugo Weaving. 

Rewatch stats:

• Time to process: 30:00  

• Length of cut scenes: 33:33

• Length of iffy scenes: 17:31

• Length of total movie: 2:03:23

• % with cut scenes: 73%

• % with iffy scenes: 59%

• Hero scenes kept: 74%

• Villain scenes kept: 11%

• Action scenes kept: 50%

• Time of scenes I love: 10:29

After rewatch: No surprises.  This movie gets better every time I rewatch it.  

New rankings:

1. Captain America

2. Iron Man 2

3. Iron Man

4. Thor

5. Hulk

Incredible Hulk

Incredible Hulk 92-105

Not quite as good I remember, mostly due to the average art.  If Ladronn, who did the beautiful covers, had done the interiors as well, this may have been a much more successful run.  

Would have loved a full run of this art.

Still, Hulk as a gladiator and rebel leader is a pitch that pretty much writes itself, and Greg Pak executes it quite well. 

I couldn’t help but think of Frank Miller’s description of Marv in Dame to Kill For, and how perfectly it applies to Hulk as well:

The death of Hulk’s wife, Caiera, is surprisingly touching.  Pak builds up the affection and love between the two quite effectively, making the tragedy in the final issue a convincing motivation for Hulk’s upcoming rampage in World War Hulk.

By the way, I absolutely do not buy for one second the idea that the Illuminati would have exiled Hulk into space.  That’s top grade villainy there, and completely out of character.  

Regret buying: No

Would buy again: No

Would read again: Yes

Rating: Nice

Giant-Size Hulk, Iron Man: Iron Age, Invincible Iron Man

Giant-Size Hulk 1

I don’t know what possessed me to buy this.  Peter David writing a new Hulk story? The reprint of Hulk: The End?  I don’t know if I regretted it then, but I regret it now. A lame Champions v Hulk flashback story, followed by another Banner/Hulk battle-of-the-personalities internal struggle circa Planet Hulk.  Finish it off with a spiritual successor to David’s final issue back in Hulk 467, and you get a boring Giant-Size money grab. I’m a sucker.

Regret buying? Yes

Would buy again? No

Would read again? No

Rating: Boring (Cutting)

Iron Man: Iron Age 1-2

Kurt Busiek’s take on Iron Man: Year One.  Pepper Potts’ narration of the first issue carries the whole thing.  She’s so gosh darn likeable, and Patrick Zircher nails the look.

Love the wardrobe, the freckles, the ability.

Happy Hogan doesn’t fare as well in the second issue.  His voice is too similar to Ben Grimm’s to stand on its own.  

Regret buying? No

Would buy again? Yes

Would read again? Yes

Rating: Fine

Iron Man 128

The classic alcoholism issue.  It holds up pretty well, even if the structure mirrors every Very Special Episode from the 80s - Iron Man gets drunk.  Iron Man tries to be a hero, but makes things worse. Bethany holds an intervention, including a cautionary story of how she failed to help someone else in her life in the past.  Tony accepts help. Cue montage scene of him quitting cold turkey. Tony makes amends with a wronged Jarvis. Alcohol tempts Tony one last time in a moment of weakness, but he resists and emerges out the other side a better (and cured?) man.  

Perhaps this was groundbreaking at the time, but there’s very little drama in it almost forty years later.  This makes the writing that much more impressive, as it still manages to entertain. It helps that the art is quite good, with an unrecognizable John Romita Jr drawing in the Marvel house style.  Part of me wishes he stayed with it, instead of morphing into his current look.

No one draws like this anymore.

Such an evolution in style for Romita Jr.

Regret buying? No

Would buy again? Yes

Would read again? Yes

Rating: Nice

Iron Man 327-331

What was I thinking???  I have very fond memories of the Teen Tony issues, despite the scathing reviews of the time.  If nothing else, I remember the early Jim Cheung art, foretelling the superstar that he would eventually become.  

Who could have predicted from this...

...To this.

Instead, I find that he only drew two of the five issues here, and the writing is even worse than the “serviceable” that I had mentally attributed to it.  I’m not sure if anything I’ve read for this project so far has aged as poorly as this.

Not by Jim Cheung.  How did this make it into a Marvel comic? 

Regret buying? Yes

Would buy again? No

Would read again? No

Rating: Stupid (Cutting)

Peter David Incredible Hulk

Peter David wrote The Incredible Hulk for twelve years.  My collection only contains a smattering of those issues, across three eras.  Let’s see how good they are.

Incredible Hulk 381-387

I got these issues for free at some point in my life.  Fine by me, because after reading them again, I’m glad I didn’t spend the money.  They’re completely okay, with some flashes of David’s excellent brand of humor, but ultimately forgettable.  Dale Keown’s art is the best part. These might be the only examples of his work that I own (his bibliography is awfully sparse for such a renowned penciller), but it’s not enough to make me keep them around.  If I ever get the hankering to read them again, I’ll pick up the Peter David Hulk collections that Marvel now publishes.

Just some classic Keown covers.

Regret buying? No

Would buy again? No

Would read again? No

Rating: Didn’t suck

Incredible Hulk 417, 418, 420

These are my favorite Hulk issues, and it’s not even close.  Rick and Marlo’s bachelor and bachelorette parties + wedding burst at the seams with the funnies.  I could spend the rest of this post showing all the panels that have stuck with me for over twenty years.  Hmm. That’s not the worst idea. Also because I love Gary Frank’s work on this title.

I still say this.  An inside joke for one.

Worst bachelor party ever.

Best groan-worthy joke ever.  Also love Rick lifting his foot.

Jim Wilson dies of AIDS in the Very Special issue 420.  It’s aged pretty well, and remains a moving, well-told story.  

Regret buying? No

Would buy again? Yes

Would read again? Yes

Rating: Really good

Incredible Hulk 465-467

The last three issues of Peter David’s epic run.  He doesn’t pull any punches here, giving Bruce Banner everything that he wants in life before killing Betty with a lethal dose of radiation poisoning.  While it was obviously not permanent, the desperation to save her is palpable, and beautifully juxtaposed with scenes of Marlo’s bedtime reading.

Love how she absently but affectionately rests her arm on Rick.  Such a peaceful scene.

Future Rick Jones, playing the role of David’s mouthpiece, tells the story of the aftermath, hinting at stories that will never be told.  Adam Kubert does wonderful work, as he almost always does.

Glorious.

As I said yesterday, intelligent Hulk is much more interesting Hulk.  Or maybe Peter David Hulk is much more interesting Hulk, I’m not sure.  I think reading David’s full run would be just as wearying as going through Stern’s Avengers or Byrne’s FF, no matter how good it is.  Maybe. I’m perfectly happy with the issues that I’m keeping, and don’t feel the temptation to push my luck.

Regret buying? No

Would buy again? Yes

Would read again? Yes

Rating: Pretty good