MCU Good Part

Shang-Chi

Current rank: 6 of 33

Before rewatch:

• Scenes I love: Mom/Dad meet-cute fight  Bus fight.  Michelle Yeoh/Shang-Chi fight.  Dad/Shang-Chi final fight.  Karaoke.  One of the only Marvel movies where the fights are the best part, because the fights actually are the character beats.

• Expectations: Maybe this is only high up because I’m Chinese.  I don’t care.

Rewatch stats:

• Time to process: 26:00

• Length of cut scenes: 13:05

• Length of iffy scenes: 28:22

• Length of total movie: 2:12:06

• % with cut scenes: 90%

• % with iffy scenes: 69%

• Hero scenes kept: 77%

• Villain scenes kept: 60%

• Action scenes kept: 86%

• Time of scenes I love: 30:22

After rewatch: I didn’t cut much, but a lot of the flashback scenes are iffy, and the dragon/demon fight at the end is so unnecessary; ending it w/ the Mandarin fight would have been way better and appropriate for a movie so centered on the parent/child relationship.  (Xialing deserved some catharsis as well.)

Eternals

Current rank: 31 of 33

Before rewatch:

• Scenes I love: Hard pressed to think of a single thing.  I do like watching Angelina Jolie kick ass, those might make it.  There’s one scene in Mesopotamia or something where it would have been awesome if it were the X-Men.  Maybe that?

• Expectations: This might be worse than Hulk.  Can’t see a world where this gets better.

Rewatch stats:

• Time to process: 50 mins

• Length of cut scenes: 1:40:35

• Length of iffy scenes: 15:29

• Length of total movie: 2:35:34

• % with cut scenes: 35%

• % with iffy scenes: 25%

• Hero scenes kept: 33%

• Villain scenes kept: 40%

• Action scenes kept: 45%

• Time of scenes I love: 0:00

After rewatch: Well, Eternals is pretty much tied w/ Hulk for % of movie that’s watchable.  There’s a surprising amount of watchable stuff; some good battles, some character beats where they’re a fun family to watch.  But director Chloe Zhao failed to make these characters very likeable, which is really priority number one with a Marvel movie; we need to want to see these people again in future movies.  Total fail.  Actually, there’s probably something they could do w/ Makkari, Druig (a total dick, but an intriguing one), and Phastos.  And Thena, Angelina Jolie rules.

1. Avengers: Endgame

2. Captain America: Civil War

3. Captain America: Winter Soldier

4. Avengers: Infinity War

5. Shang-Chi

6. Avengers: Age of Ultron

7. Ant-Man/Wasp

8. Avengers

9. Spider-Man: Homecoming

10. Captain America

11. Spider-Man: Far From Home

12. Iron Man 2

13. Black Widow

14. Black Panther

15. Iron Man

16. Ant-Man

17. Dr Strange

18. Iron Man 3

19. Thor 3

20. Captain Marvel

21. Thor

22. Thor 2

23. Guardians of the Galaxy

24. Guardians of the Galaxy 2

25. Hulk

26. Eternals

Dune, Eternals

Dune

Wow.  I barely know what to say.  This left me with almost the exact same thoughts as Denis Villeneuve’s previous film, Blade Runner 2049: amazing, evocative moods, stunning visuals, and a meandering, dreamlike story that barely qualifies as a narrative.  

The casting is flawless, I love Timothee Chalamet as Paul Atreides.  Zendaya is always welcome, and everyone else plays their roles faultlessly.

And those sandworms.  Holy shit, I don’t know if I’ve seen anything more visually stunning in a film in ages.  So.  Cool.  

Happy I watched this, but I’ll never want to watch it again, aside from the sandworm stuff, I think.  (Similarly, there are a few Blade Runner scenes I want to revisit.)

Regret watching: No

Would watch again: No

Would buy on DVD: No

Rating: Pretty good

Eternals

Well.  So.  That was a thing.  I don’t think it deserves all the vitriol I’ve seen in passing on the internet (I’ve been trying to stay clear of all spoilers).  But director Chloe Zhao and the other writers really dug themselves a hole when they decided to have a team with ten new characters.  Even the risky Guardians of the Galaxy had half the number of members.  

I would have loved this if the characters were the X-Men or the Justice League (there are totally analogs for just about everyone), but the big fights don’t have the same emotional thrill when the fighters are total strangers.  

The cast is fine, typical of Marvel casting.  But unlike every other MCU movie, I can’t see this team interacting with any of the characters from the other movies.  The tone of this film is too other.  Not in a bad way, but it doesn’t feel like it’s of the same piece. 

There are a ton of plot holes that I don’t understand, and I don’t care enough to go through them right now.  (I’m sick, and even if I weren’t…)

Regret watching: No

Would watch again: No

Would buy on DVD: No

Rating: Fine

1. Avengers: Endgame

2. Captain America: Civil War

3. Captain America: Winter Soldier

4. Ant Man/Wasp

5. Avengers: Infinity War

6. Shang-Chi

7. Black Panther

8. Captain America: First Avenger

9. Spider-Man: Homecoming

10. Avengers

11. Avengers: Age of Ultron

12. Spider-Man: Far From Home

13. Thor 3

14. Black Widow

15. Captain Marvel

16. Ant-Man

17. Iron Man 1

18. Iron Man 3

19. Doctor Strange

20. Iron Man 2

21. Eternals

22. Guardians 1

23. Guardians 2

24. Thor

25. Hulk

Thor 2