Avengers: The Initiative

Avengers: The Initiative 1-6

And lo is born the Stupid rating.  This made me angry at how stupid it was.

Things I disliked:

• The lame German accent on Von Blitzschlag, the resident Nazi scientist that every undercover US government-run group has to have on retainer.  (Though he does to a nice job of putting Hank Pym in his place by calling out all the deaths his creations have caused - Ultron, Salvation I, Clor…)

• Hank Pym.  He plays the role of government stooge, which brings out the unpleasant screaming-about-security side of him.

• Henry Gyrich.  The reader’s always supposed to hate this guy, but he’s not even interesting in his misguided I-know-what’s-best-for-the-country dickishness.

• Gauntlet.  Boring one-note drill sergeant.  Dan Slott devotes all of five panels to his home life, in a far too little too late attempt to humanize him one page before he gets beaten into a coma.  Having failed to make me care about him, Slott fails to make me care at all about the search for his assailant. 

And that’s the problem with this series.  I don’t care about any of these people.  At all.  And I haven’t even gotten to the trainees themselves.  Any of the meager time Slott spends on character building only accentuates the unlikability of these idiots.  That’s when he chooses to devote any time at all; During the interrogation sequences of issue 6, I legitimately asked, “Who’s that?” out loud at least twice.      

Was the ending of issue 6 supposed to be a huge shock or something?  Whee, Slapstick, whose presence on the team made no sense with his second-rate Plastic Man impression, is secretly a bloodthirsty psycho.  Don’t.  Care.

My apathy towards this team is amplified because it comes on the heels of reading Dennis Hopeless’ Avengers Arena series, where he didn’t just get me engaged, but invested in the fates of a bunch of C-listers I’d never heard of before.  So I know it’s possible.

I don’t know what possessed me to buy this trade.  Doesn’t look like it was on sale or anything.  I want to burn this with fire.

Yep.  Way to point your finger, Rage.

Regret buying? Yes

Would buy again? No

Would read again? No

Rating: Stupid