MCU Good Parts

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Current rank: 25 of 33

Before rewatch:

• Scenes I love: The grief of dealing w/ T’Challa’s (and really, Chadwick Boseman’s) death.

• Expectations: This movie largely doesn’t work for me because Namor and the Atlanteans fail to resonate with me on pretty much any level.  And while Riri is very well cast, she doesn’t fit in this movie.  And Okoye is too badass to require armor assistance.

Rewatch stats:

• Time to process: 57:00

• Length of cut scenes: 46:37

• Length of iffy scenes: 43:07

• Length of total movie: 2:41:09 

• % with cut scenes: 71%

• % with iffy scenes: 44%

• Hero scenes kept: 61%

• Villain scenes kept: 13%

• Action scenes kept: 29%

• Time of scenes I love: 6:34

After rewatch: There’s a legit 40 minute gap in the middle, basically Shuri’s captivity in Atlantis, that’s completely skippable.  Everything around it is pretty questionable as well.  My estimation of this movie has not changed; Namor is as unfun to watch as I remember.

Ant-Man: Quantumania

Current rank: 33 of 33

Before rewatch:

• Scenes I love: I love nothing about this movie.  It’s the worst.

• Expectations: It will stay the worst.

Rewatch stats:

• Time to process: 25:00

• Length of cut scenes: 1:50:09

• Length of iffy scenes: 2:41

• Length of total movie: 2:04:17

• % with cut scenes: 11%

• % with iffy scenes: 9%

• Hero scenes kept: 32%

• Villain scenes kept: 0%

• Action scenes kept: 0%

• Time of scenes I love: 0:00 

After rewatch: Hahahahahhaa! 9% of this thing is watchable…

Guardians 3

Current rank: 26 of 33

Before rewatch:

• Scenes I love: Nothing comes to mind.  The one-take hallway fight scene isn’t bad…

• Expectations: Meh.  While the animal experimentation message is a commendable one, it doesn’t make for an enjoyable watching experience.  Each viewing of a Guardians movie does nothing to make the characters more likable for me. 

Rewatch stats:

• Time to process: 1:30:00

• Length of cut scenes: 53:02

• Length of iffy scenes: 54:42

• Length of total movie: 2:29:45

• % with cut scenes: 65%

• % with iffy scenes: 28%

• Hero scenes kept: 37%

• Villain scenes kept: 23%

• Action scenes kept: 23%

• Time of scenes I love: 3:01

After rewatch: As I went through this movie, I just...didn’t care at all about what was going on.  There are definitely some sweet character moments between these people.  (I finally care about this gang of misfits, for the most part.)  But the plot, the flashbacks, the High Evolutionary, the action…nope.  

1. Avengers: Endgame

2. Captain America: Civil War

3. Captain America: Winter Soldier

4. Spider-Man: No Way Home

5. Avengers: Infinity War

6. Shang-Chi

7. Avengers: Age of Ultron

8. Ant-Man/Wasp

9. Avengers

10. Spider-Man: Homecoming

11. Captain America

12. Dr Strange 2

13. Thor: Love and Thunder

14. Spider-Man: Far From Home

15. Iron Man 2

16. Black Widow

17. Black Panther

18. Iron Man

19. Ant-Man

20. Dr Strange

21. Iron Man 3

22. Thor 3

23. Captain Marvel

24. Thor

25. Thor 2

26. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

27. Guardians of the Galaxy

28. Guardians of the Galaxy 2

29. Guardians of the Galaxy 3

30. Hulk

31. Eternals

32. Ant-Man/Wasp: Quantumania

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania

A hot mess.  Let’s get into it.

What I liked:

• It’s so good to see Michelle Pfeiffer again.  I love her.

• Katy O’Brian was pretty badass as Jentorra.  (I had to look up the name, the movie does a poor job of divulging it.)

What I didn’t like:

• Janet Van Dyne’s storyline.  The “I didn’t tell you to protect you” trope is such a tired one, especially when it’s so poorly executed.

• That’s really the problem with this movie.  It’s a ton of generic plot devices: The rebel army fighting the evil ruler, the prison break of the key dissidents, the desperate plea for a final assault, the deus ex machina (ants, this time around), the final fight between hero and villain…It’s all yawn-tastic.

• MODOK.  Should have been a hilarious character, but he turns out to be a grotesque, not-as-funny-as-they-think-he-is monstrosity.

• The Scott/Cassie relationship, always a delight to watch in the first two movies, is reduced to little more than “you don’t understand me!” in the beginning and “I’ll do anything to save my daughter!” in the end.  So much wasted character-building potential here.

• Same with the Scott/Hope relationship.  It’s practically ignored, as is Hope in general.  More missed opportunities.

• Poor Michael Douglas, 80% of his time on screen is spent holding his hands up to pilot an alien ship.  I’m sure he loved that.  Still, his acerbic wit is probably the funniest part of the movie.

• No Michael Pena!

• Mega Star Wars vibes, and not in a good way.  More in a “everything is so blatantly green screened, there’s no sense of tactility to ground the film to anything.”

• Bill Murray.  I’m so tired of his schtick.

• What a waste of William Jackson Harper.  This whole film is such a waste of talent.

• So many plot holes, I didn’t even try to keep track during the movie.  Some that come to mind after:

• Shrinking in the quantum realm with no suit.  “Why aren’t we dead?”  “I don’t know.”  That’s some “Somehow Palpatine has returned”-level laziness right there.

• So the multiversal engine is needed to open up the portal they use at the end to get home.  What did Cassie use to power the portal to retrieve Scott and Hope?

• Hated No Holes guy.

Meh:

• Jonathan Majors does a much better job here than he did in the Loki finale, though that really doesn’t mean much.  

• Kathryn Newton is fine as Cassie, but I could take or leave her.

Regret watching: No

Would watch again: No

Would buy on DVD: No

Rating: Didn’t suck

How low does this rank overall?  Is it worse than Thor 2?  At least that’s got two moments I like (Natalie talking about the scanning machine, and the final kiss when Thor comes back.).  I don’t think this movie has even one moment I’ll ever want to watch again, or even think about.  Hrm.

1. Avengers: Endgame

2. Captain America: Civil War

3. Captain America: Winter Soldier

4. Spider-Man: No Way Home

5. Ant Man/Wasp

6. Avengers: Infinity War

7. Shang-Chi

8. Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness

9. Captain America: First Avenger

10. Spider-Man: Homecoming

11. Avengers

12. Thor: Love and Thunder

13. Avengers: Age of Ultron

14. Black Panther

15. Spider-Man: Far From Home

16. Thor: Ragnarok

17. Iron Man 2

18. Captain Marvel

19. Black Widow

20. Ant-Man

21. Iron Man 1

22. Iron Man 3

23. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

24. Doctor Strange

25. Guardians 1

26. Guardians 2

27. Thor

28. Eternals

29. Thor 2

30. Hulk

31. Ant-Man/Wasp: Quantumania