Captain America: Brave New World
Oh my god. Let’s get started:
This is just a sloppy movie. Plot and logic holes abound, and there appears to have been no effort to patch them up. Or just use patchwork exposition to help you get from point A to point G.
Isaiah Bradley was separated from the other four brainwashed guys because he needed to be kept alive for plot reasons.
No way Sam Wilson, who didn’t start being Captain America until he was 42, get to be such a good hand-to-hand fighter. And no super soldier serum-less guy can throw the shield like that. Or hit missiles with it. Or surf on a missile. Or take stab wounds to the chest with no problem. Or survive a fight against a Hulk.
If Red Hulk is so bulletproof, how are those wing shards able to pierce his skin? Are they made of vibranium?
Why is the President of the United States giving combat orders on a Navy vessel?
“Can you help us identify these pills?” :”Sure, I know a guy. But he needs 24 hours.”
So I guess if the President you’ve sworn to protect turns into a Hulk, you’re immediately allowed to try to kill him?
Those taser sticks are completely useless if they can’t take out a regular person.
Since when did the White House have so many buildings surrounding it?
Danny Ramirez makes zero impact as Falcon. I have no desire to see him again in anything, and really hope he’s not on the upcoming Avengers team.
Shira Haas as the unnamed Sabra could have been interesting, but she was given nothing to do. She could have been cut from the movie and not been missed.
Harrison Ford is obviously iconic, but he’s too old for this shit. I kept worrying that he was going to break something.
Liv Tyler’s cameo is such a waste of everyone’s time; it had no dramatic impact, and could have been so much more meaningful.
Same with Samuel Sterns. He could have been a compelling villain, but instead his plot raises more questions than anything else.
How did he accomplish any of his plot? How did he program the phones to flash? How was he able to pipe that song wherever he wanted? Why was he so pissed at Ross for not releasing him when he could walk out of his prison with such ease? How did he sneak onto the military base to kill that soldier dude? Why did he give himself up again?
The humor wasn’t funny. At all. That riff on the Ocean’s 11 speech was cringeworthy. (The “did the speechwriters write that for you” bit with Bucky.) The sad excuse for banter at the end w/ new Falcon. (And that was the best way you could come up with to end the movie?)
Something that always bothered me: Sam Wilson originally got the Falcon wings while he was in the military. So why hasn’t the US government come out with an army of Falcons? And if he’s still on active duty, how is Joaquin Torres able to go off gallivanting w/ Sam.
What a pointless tag. “The multiverse is coming.”
That’s all I have in me. While not as overtly bad as Quantumania, this movie is insultingly lazy. It doesn’t try to be fun, interesting, thought-provoking, or anything worthy of my time. It’s a filler movie.
Regret watching: No. (It’s a Marvel movie. I’m still going to watch it.)
Would watch again: No
Would buy on DVD: No
Rating: Stupid
Updated MCU rankings
Avengers: Endgame
Captain America: Civil War
Captain America: Winter Soldier
Spider-Man: No Way Home
Avengers: Infinity War
Shang-Chi
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Ant-Man/Wasp
Avengers
Spider-Man: Homecoming
Captain America
Dr Strange 2
Thor: Love and Thunder
Spider-Man: Far From Home
Iron Man 2
Black Widow
Black Panther
Iron Man
Ant-Man
Dr Strange
Deadpool & Wolverine
Iron Man 3
Thor 3
Captain Marvel
Thor
Thor 2
Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
Guardians of the Galaxy
Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Guardians of the Galaxy 3
Hulk
Eternals
Captain America: Brave New World
Ant-Man/Wasp: Quantumania
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